4/3
Got home from a trip to Pittsburgh a few days ago (went from 3/26-3/30)! Honestly was a phenomenal trip from beginning to end. The day I flew in, I made a quick stop to see an old friend.



Very stoked to know that Kohi's memorial is basically untouched.

Right after that, I went straight to the wrestling school T2T Pittsburgh and met up with my friend Siel, who I was staying with for the week. The school itself is in a skate shop, which was super fucking cool.

It was probably the first time in months that I had a fully active training session with a really cool group of wrestlers! I even had a 5 minute practice match with one of their wrestlers, Alao Dream! It was a really great time.



Right after, we got some bomb ass tacos and got to know each other a bit!



The next day, Siel showed me alot of South Side. There was so much cool stuff near their apartment. Alot of really good restaraunts, bars, and an arcade! Not to mention, walking dstance from T2T itself.



Later that night, I had my match for 880 Wrestling's Thursday Night Fights against Nix Wilde. Truth be told, it was probably the best match i've had so far in my wrestling career. It was short and sweet but I feel like it made a statement. Plus, it was just so much fun.

Friday was my day to go around South Side with my friend Didi. I hadn't seen it in about 4 years and it was really good to catch up with it!



We met up with one of its friends and explored South Side a bit more, getting food, going back to the arcade, and looked through the local Goodwill. After that, she showed me this really cool dive bar called Rock Room. i had never been in a bar where you can smoke inside still (blew my mind, I loved it).



Also blew my mind they had $2 PBR's, I wish Boston had spaces like this.

Saturday, I stayed around for an 880 show! Got to see alot of killer matches and mark out instead of being a full worker that day. It was apparently one of their best shows that they've had ever, attendance-wise and all. It hoenstly was such a sick expierience, they really have something special going on over here.



There was a very fun get-together at a local rugby bar right after. probably some of the most positive vibes I could've gotten after any wrestling event I'd been to.

i didn't actuially sleep after the rugby bar since my flight was at 6 am haha.



Right after we landed on sunday, I got some breakfast with the Butcher from BLOWW, and then went to see a 10 minute preview of the BLOWW doc that was being worked on for over a year now. I hoenstly didn't end up sleeping until 4 PM on Sunday haha.

Honestly, Pittsburgh ruled. I can't wait to go back and wrestle again. I'm also lowkey thinking of trying to move out there as well. Stuff to think about.

Wrestling rules.

4/24
Trying to use this site more often and update, even if it's something that's not exciting. This one is more of a big vent.

Life feels like it's been really heavy lately. I've been trying to find a better job, but apparently it's impossible to find anything in my area that will allow me to take Sundays off. Here I am, offering 6 days a week and I've had two jobs straight up tell me that my expierience and resume look amazing but because I can't work on a Sunday that I'm not a good fit for the job. Really dishearthening, but I stand my ground because Sundays are my day to do stuff with BLOWW, and I really need that outlet.

I've been so picky with jobs lately, and the main thing is because of wrestling. It's something I'm try to take really seriously, but it feels like it's almost impossible. I look at wrestling as another outlet as well as a way to possibly live off of it somehow and it sucks to think of any sort of artistic outlet as a way to make a living, but unforutunately we live in a society and I would rather live my life making a living off of some sort of art rather than working other jobs. It's a thing I cannot get out of my brain no matter what people tell me. I feel as if I can't do this specific thing then I'd rather just be dead. Crazy how something that feels like it's the reason I'm alive but probably so so small to so many others.

Sometimes, I think of taking a big break from everything to try and get my savings up so that i can work out more, lose some weight, save some money, get everything else in life squared away. But, there is this huge feeling of FOMO. That if I can't do it now, it won't happen period. I have friends tell me that :wrestling will always be there". But, wrestling is currently the most popular it's ever been, and with queer wrestlers making so many come-ups, it's hard to not want to continue doing this. I also have this hard thought in my brain that I'm about to turn 30 and everything starts turning around at that age. There's that stigma that once you're 30, you're too old. But that isn't the case. I've had friends start wrestling who are at least a decade older than me. need to remind myself of that. It honstly helps.

Hopefully, I update this more freely. I should make a weekly to-do list. Because this helped reflect ons stuff. See you soon.